Fear and losing weight...

I know, I know.  I haven't let anyone know about this blog yet.  I have to admit, I'm really nervous about exposing my mind and in particular my heart.  So....  I think I'll start with something I'm pretty at ease talking to others about.  I've lost a lot of weight.  No.  Really...  A whole lot of weight.  About one hundred and fifty pounds so far.  Here is a pic of me with my youngest son Jarom at what I believe is about 20 pounds short of the heaviest I ever was.  We were at "The Roof" (fancy all you can stuff in your face restaurant) in Salt Lake City celebrating his 12th birthday.

I remember this evening pretty well.  I was happy to be there with him and Lisa but not happy.  How could I be?  In the following years after this pic was taken, we went to Lagoon (a local amusement park) and was told I was too fat to go on some of the rides.  Nicole was heartbroken.  She wanted to ride with her Daddy.  The last straw was a trip we took to Knott's Berry Farm in southern California.  Again, I was just too big to ride just about all of the rides!  I decided to make a change.  I won't bore you with the whole process, I'll save that for another post.  I think it suffices to say it was hard and emotional.  But here I am about 150 pounds later (lighter?) at my first triathlon I competed in in May of 2011.

Can you tell the difference?

I haven't been back to Lagoon or to Knott's Berry Farm yet.  I have flown a lot since then and I no longer have to ask for a seat belt extension and don't have to worry about the other passengers looks as they are dreading me sitting next to them.  Pretty good stuff I think.  I continue to lose and hope to be down another 40 pounds or so by February of 2012.  It's been tough, but wholly worth every minute.